Nobel Peace Prize 2009: Congratulations, Mr. President.

Reference: The Nobel Peace Prize 2009

Dear Mr. President.

Congratulations on receiving the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. This is sure to improve the respect of the European Union member states and others have towards the United States.

But many, including you, are speculating on what exactly you have accomplished to be deserving of such an honor. Well, wonder no further because unlike Saturday Night Live's 'no accomplishments' skit, I believe I have the answer. Your accomplishments to date include:

Devaluing the US Dollar with stimulus and bailouts; this, along with allowing Fannie and Freddie to melt down while you were a senator made all foreign currencies worth more. You have accomplished something all envious countries could not do. Even now reports are that a second stimulus package may be in the works. That will ingratiate them to you even more.

Then there are the repeated and continuing apology tours. There is nothing the pacifists and socialists appreciate more than blaming America for all of their troubles, as opposed to blaming themselves and their own policies. You legitimize their delusion and therefore, you are to be praised and honored by them. Recall that the Nobel Peace Prize was created as an apology for creating a weapon of mass destruction. It all syncs and makes sense now.

So, there you have it. You have been honored for real accomplishments that can be seen and felt by everyone. It is no wonder that the pacifists that populate the prize committee would choose you to honor.

Thank you for your service.