Now That We Own General Motors and Chrysler...

6/03/2009 2:10 PM

Dear Mr. President

Now that we taxpayers own General Motors and Chrysler, I have a few questions.

Can we order them keep the Pontiac line? I have always liked Pontiacs, starting with my first, a 1961 Pontiac Catalina that I modified with a 421 C.U. V8, with trips (3 two barrel carburetors) and a 4 speed. I always wanted a 1964 GTO; but it was always out of my reach.

Do you think we could get Pontiac to make a retro-version of the GTO that looks similar to the 1964 model? After all, just recall what the retro-Thunderbird did for Ford. They did not need bailout money.

The next question is about company benefits. Do you think the rest American people could receive similar benefits to the ones UAW members are getting? I especially like the benefit I witnessed from a friend’s step-father who worked at the Cleveland Ford Motor Company on Brook Park Road. My friend’s father would take an entire month off to drink beer and still get paid at rate that was 95% of his regular salary. Sweet!

Maybe you could fix health care in America, one of your priorities I’ve heard, by giving Americans the UAW style health care insurance. That’s it! That’s the answer to universal health care! We could also fix Social Security with a UAW style pension plan. Why didn’t I think of this before? Since we have given part of the automakers ownership to Canada, maybe we could get some of their health care insurance as well.

Would we be able to get special employee discounts on GM vehicles? I would really like to know this one because my Chevy truck has over 70,000 miles on it and I’m thinking it’s time for a new one. Its mileage has dropped from 21 MPG to 17 MPG on the highway, which I drive 56 miles each day. Oh wait, that drop may be due to the mandated ethanol in the regular unleaded I use.

Lastly, I want to thank you, Mr. President, for finally putting those mean old profiteering car makers out of business. Who knows what kind of gas guzzlers they would come out with next?

Thank you for your support

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